02 June 2016

On The Topic of Invisibility

Talking about my invisible illness (crohn's, IBS, UC, or whatever exactly it is I have -- I was never given an official name) seems kinda taboo. Yes, it is embarrassing. It is a weakness. But it's also something I have to deal with every stinkin' day of my life. So, seeing "Crohn's Disease" trending on facebook today made my heart skip a beat, because seeing someone dealing with something much worse than me shout out to the world what she has to deal with... well, it made me want to shout out to the world what I have to deal with.

So, let me tell ya about me and my invisible illness, because its effect on my life has been pretty extreme. First of all, it has hindered me from so many opportunities I would have loved to experience (missions trip? not even an option). It has turned some fun times into disastrous experiences in mere seconds. It has made me struggle daily against living in fear of it. It has also made me the best person to ask where the nearest restroom is. ;)

But I thank God daily, because it's only by His grace that I didn't end up just like that girl who made Crohn's trending. He gave me my mother, who knows about nutrition and naturopathic methods, so that instead of having my entire gut removed, I have to follow a very limiting diet. It's tough, it's embarrassing, it's sometimes socially isolating. But I would choose not eating ice cream over having a bag attached to my stomach any day of the week.

With all of that said... I wouldn't trade my invisible illness experience for anything -- because it has brought me closer to God than anything else would have or could have. When just getting through a day of classes and work is trying, I have no option but to rely on God to help me through. And that's the beauty of an invisible illness, I think. When God's the only one around who knows what's going on, you learn to become very reliant on Him -- for strength, hope, and perseverance.

Friends, I pray this further knowledge won't make you view me any differently, but that it will just serve to deepen your understanding of my character and why I am who I am. Because, at my core, I'm just like you -- a sinner, saved by grace, fighting through a trial God has allowed, to become the person He wants me to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and God bless. ^_^


  1. I love it :)

    I love that you're being open about this. thank you for that. Someone in my photography class has IBS and there were some days he couldnt make it to class and I felt terrible knowing I have lupus and I was there. sometimes I feel too healthy compared to all the really sick people out there. it breaks my heart.

    but at the same time, I get it. my best friend and church just came back from a trip to Africa that I wanted to have gone on. they're going on another trip next year. and it kills me because I cant leave the country because I cant get shots with my compromised immune system. it sucks so much.

    ANYHOW ENOUGH ABOUT ME. you're so strong and I look up to you a lot. sometimes (a lot of the time.) I wish I had to drive like you do to eat better and all that. you're pretty freaking awesome for being so strong through everything. I love you a whole lot. keep doing what you're doing <3

  2. Thank you for the transparency and honesty! Another awesome post! <3 3 John 2

  3. You are strong. God has blessed you with strength. 😊
    I was looking for ideas for a Tauriel costume and found your blog. It was the best on I had found. So thankyou. 👍