Finding the Spiritual in 5 TØP Songs

I hope you won't mind that I'm deviating from the uuz of "what happened this week" posts, and that you will enjoy this introspective post concerning twenty one pilots instead...

Last May, twenty one pilots happened (again), and, thanks to Faith, I caught on to their undefinable music and joined the clique. So, today, I'd like to share five (in honor of the fifth week of my 2nd semester of college) of my favorite twenty one pilots songs, and the underlying, spiritual nuances that make these songs mean so much to me.  I hope you're encouraged by the following words as much as I always am.

1. Addict With a Pen.

Ever since the very first time I heard it, I recognized this song had captured the essence of my soul, the very essence of my relationship with my maker. Failure, realization, recommission. Void, craving, fulfillment. Pain, balm, healing. A cycle that can only truly be completed in death, the ending to our life of struggle and the beginning of our life of peace.

I try desperately to run through the sand

As I hold the water

In the palm of my hand

Cause it's all that I have

And it's all that I need and

The waves of the water

Mean nothing to me

But I try my best

And all that I can to

Hold tightly onto

What's left in my hand

But no matter how

How tightly I will strain

The sand will slow me down

And the water will drain

I'm just being dramatic

In fact,

I'm only at it again

As an addict with a pen

Who's addicted to the wind

As it blows me back and forth

Mindless, spineless, and pretend

Of course I'll be here again

See you tomorrow

But it's the end of today

End of my ways

As a walking denial

My trial was filed as a crazy

Suicidal head case

But you specialize in dying

You hear me screaming

Father

And I'm lying here just crying

So wash me with your water.

2. March to the Sea.

It wasn't until more recently that it spoke to me -- in the context of my morning walks to class. As I join the throngs of students, I always imagine myself as falling in line in that march to the sea. But I also remember that I am not an idle marcher. I've heard the voice inside my head, saying, "follow Me instead." I am in my place, but now I am marching for my maker.

Then out of the corner of my eye

I see a spaceship in the sky

And hear a voice inside my head:

Follow me instead

Then the wages of war will start

Inside my head with my counterpart

And the emotionless marchers will chant the phrase:

This line's the only way

And then I start down the sand

My eyes are focused on the end of land

But again the voice inside my head says,

Follow me instead

Take me up, seal the door

I don't want to march here anymore

I realize that this line is dead

So I'll follow You instead

So then You put me back in my place

So I might start another day

And once again I will be

In a march to the sea.

Bonus Meanings:

No one looks up anymore

'Cause you might get a raindrop in your eye

And Heaven forbid they see you cry

As we fall in line.

3. Semi-Automatic.

I was confused by it at first -- until I realized just how telling of me this song really is. I've been diagnosed with soul schizophrenia, 'cause I'm all twisted up inside. How often I do not do what I want to do, but what I hate. But, again, this condition is inescapable. Every human is born with soul schizophrenia, and we must simply do our best to live on, live on, live on.

I'm never what I like,

I'm double sided,

and I just can't hide,

I kind of like it

when I make you cry,

'Cause I'm twisted up,

I'm twisted up inside

I'm semi-automatic,

my prayer's schizophrenic,

But I'll live on;

I'll live on;

I'll live on.

4. Holding On to You.

Meanings, meanings, it is full of, which I didn't discover until I truly studied and pondered the lyrics of this song.  The part I always appreciated was the "bonus meanings" I added at the end of these lyrics, but really, the heart of this song is the following exposition of the struggle between flesh and soul. But further still than that, between soul and Maker...

I'm taking over my body,

Back in control,

no more shotty,

I bet a lot of me was lost,

T's uncrossed and I's undotted,

I fought it a lot

And it seems a lot

Like flesh is all I got,

Not anymore,

Flesh out the door,

Swat

I must've forgot,

you can't trust me,

I'm open a moment and close when you show it,

Before you know it,

I'm lost at sea,

And now that I write and think about it,

And the story unfolds,

You should take my life,

You should take my soul

You are surrounding

all my surroundings,

Sounding down the mountain range

of my left-side brain,

You are surrounding

all my surroundings,

Twisting the kaleidoscope

behind both of my eyes

And I'll be holding on to you.

Bonus meanings:

When we gonna stop with it,

Lyrics that mean nothing,

We were gifted with thought

Is it time to move our feet

To an introspective beat,

It ain't the speakers that bump hearts,

It's our hearts that make the beat.

5. Doubt.

It struck a chord within me the second time I listened to this song, when I caught the words, "I'm no good without You" -- because isn't that just the truth.  On and on the lyrics go, laying bare insecurity and uncertainty... but in between, the rambling is punctuated by a call for help, an S.O.S. begging for mercy, for strength, for love.  The daily cry of our hearts.

Scared of my own image,

Scared of my own immaturity,

Scared of my own ceiling,

Scared I'll die of uncertainty,

Fear might be the death of me,

Fear leads to anxiety,

Don't know what's inside of me

Don't forget about me,

Don't forget about me,

Even when I doubt you,

I'm no good without you,

no, no, no, no.

Temperature is dropping,

Temperature is dropping,

I'm not sure if I can

See this ever stopping,

Shaking hands with the

Dark parts of my thoughts, no,

You are all that I've got, no

Don't forget about me,

Don't forget about me,

Even when I doubt you,

I'm no good without you,

no, no, no, no.

Gnawing on the bishops,

Claw our way up their system,

Repeating simple phrases,

Someone holy insisted,

I want the markings

Made on my skin,

To mean something to me again,

Hope you haven't left without me

Hope you haven't left without me, please

Don't forget about me,

Don't forget about me,

Even when I doubt you,

I'm no good without you,

no, no, no, no.

What twenty one pilots song is your favorite/means the most to you??